Fooling myself?

Ok peeps. I need you. Am I just fooling myself about losing weight?
Should I stick with it?
I am not unhappy with my progress. 23 less pounds in 2011 is decent. At least it's better than doing anything.
But is it worth it?
Should I continue?
Can't I just be a big blob for the next few decades?
I have to admit I feel better when I go to the gym and I have been reading at the gym (and I am not a big reader-I would rather have a crochet hook in my hands).
I am so confused. Help me out will you?
If you are out there, will you let me know what you think? (About this and not random stuff. Ok random stuff would be ok also)

-23 pounds since starting
+198 days

29 days to 21st birthday and 167 to Leah's birthday - Graduation Complete

Is anyone there?

So I have been thinking. Said to self. Self, is anyone out there? I think you are out there. Checking in every once in a while. Reading along with me but who are you and what are you thinking?
So I ask you. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you want to know about me? Can you hear me?
On to the snapshot of the day. Worked out early this morning (8 miles on the bike), home for a shower and off to Crate and Barrel (got several amazing deals that you would be jealous of-seriously jealous), donated blood (got 2 gift cards for a quart of Oberweis ice cream and won a $100 gift card for gasoline), took a short nap, went to church tonight because Tom was worship leading, went grocery shopping, had dinner, walked dogs and now I am getting ready for bed. No wonder I am tired. Long but productive day. I also did some cleaning but not enough to actually write about.
Tomorrow morning I get on the scale and then off to the gym while Tom is at church. Looking forward to some quiet time.

-23 pounds since starting
+178 days

32 days to 21st birthday and 185 to Leah's birthday - Graduation Complete

Boo-Yah

The scale moved again. Yes in the right direction. Down another pound. Boo-yah (my daughter and son-in-law are in the US Navy so that word is used a lot in our family).

Some more happy news. I called our triple play carrier (yeah that one) and told them I was thinking of going to another carrier (I wasn't planning on it but I had thought about it). When they asked why I said because of cost. They lowered it from $125 to $109 and I asked them to remove the $3 monthly service protection. When I signed up for it 2 years ago it was cheaper to pay the monthly fee for a year than pay for one service call that I needed. Did I ever cancel it. No. I did yesterday. So with one phone call I saved $19 a month plus all the make believe taxes. So about 20 bucks a month. Boo-Yah.

Some more than more* happy news. I had an appointment with a second audiologist this afternoon. My parish nurse referred me to someone in the area that she has used before and I love her. Let me say it again. Love Her (said in a sing songy voice). She is a down to earth person with...wait for it...common sense. Such a  rarity these days. Prices are at least 50% less expensive than my first quote, no hearing test cost (yes you 'heard' me right), she offers a payment plan with no interest , no restocking fees and no other goofy made up stuff. I talk and she listens. She gets it. Her goal is to help me. I like that. Boo-Yah.
So all in all - good couple of days!

*More than more is a phrase Leah and I have used her whole life. She says I love you. I say I love you more. She says I love you more than more and I say 'you win' (in a happy voice)
-23 pounds since starting
+175 days

35 days to 21st birthday and 188 to Leah's birthday - Graduation Complete

Hallelujah the Scale has Moved

 Not much mind you but it has moved in the right direction. It is become quite comical. I look down at the digital scale and since the last number of my weight has been 5 for so long when it change to 4 I had to look at it for a full minute before it clicked that it was a 4 and not a 5. Then another minute to click that it went down a number which means I lost a pound. So this weekend the number changed from 4 to 3. I stare and think and stare again. A 3 huh? What does that mean? A 3 is not a 4. Yes it really says 3. So that means that it is not a 4 it is a 3 and 3 is less than 4 so I weigh 1 pound less than I did before. Huh. Who woulda thunk it. So yes I am looking at a 3 on the scale which means my number is now 22 less than it was before which in turns I weigh 22 pounds less than before. I like that.
The gym. I have noticed that when I walk at the gym I walk further and a little faster than before. When I ride the bike I go further and faster (I mix up the levels to get my heart rate up) and my new favorite thing to do. Read magazines while at the gym. I have many magazines that I really love but when I'm home I tend to pick up my crochet instead of a magazine and I am not talented enough to do both although I just read about a lady who knits while on the back of her husbands motorcycle. Seriously as I am not kidding you. Motorcycle. Some of us can't crochet or knit in the car yet alone on the back of a motorcycle. Hope he doesn't crash as I don't want to think about where the needles might end up.

-22 pounds since starting
+172 days

38 days to 21st birthday and 191 to Leah's birthday - Graduation Complete

Discouragement or Rejoicing

Well I am still at minus 21 pounds. It is a bit frustrating. I have been working out 4-5 times a week. My eating has been pretty good. Smaller portions and less junk food and sweets. I have been trying to eat healthy but I have not been a die hard about it.
So am I discouraged?
Yeah a bit. It has been almost 6 months. I am still heavy. I still have fat where I don't want it. I still look in the mirror and see to much of me.
However, I am 2 sizes smaller than I was. I am more toned and have more muscle, which we all know weighs more than fat, I look thinner and I feel much better with lots more energy. So I think I should rejoice. It may not be coming off as fast as I want but 21 pounds is still good and it is staying off. I think it staying off is the key. We will see how long I stay here. If it is longer than I wanted then oh well. Maybe I will lose 21 pounds every 6 months. It will take me longer to lose it but I am at peace with that. They say it is better to take it off slowly and I will be learning healthy habits along the way.
I went through my dresser drawers this week and tried on some capri's (from 2 summers ago) and workout pants that were to small. They all fit. I have 2 pairs of workout capri's and one pair of black capri's for the office. I gathered up my sweats that are to big (but really comfy) and gave them away.

-21 pounds since starting
+168 days

42 days to 21st birthday and 195 to Leah's birthday - Graduation Complete

Found the Answer!

So I was thinking and pondering and wondering why is it so hard to eat right lately? I think I have the answer. The kids are home. There are snacks and sweets everywhere. When it is just Tom and I and there is ice cream in the house, I make a choice not to eat it and it is still there in 3 days or a week when I may want some. Not so with teenagers around. Eat it now or it is gone. So I find myself eating things that I don't even want right now because if I wait it will be gone. Ummmm maybe I can just go to the store and get some more cereal or whatever if I want some and if we have run out. Duh.
So what have I done about it? Now that I have recognized the problem/pit/reason behind it.
I have started stacking the fridge with sugar free jello and sugar free pudding. I make it once a week (easy peasy) and put it in the little reusable containers. When I want something sweet I can start there. It usually satisfies my sweet tooth.
I should also be getting some fresh veggies and do the same thing. If I have them washed and ready to go then I will snack on them or bring them to work. I can't eat something healthy if I don't have it. I amaze myself with how smart I am.

-21 pounds since starting
+164 days

48 days to 21st birthday and 201 to Leah's birthday - Graduation Complete

Finding Time to Exercise is Getting Harder

I was doing so well going to the gym 5 times a week. Even with work, 2 dogs and a husband, I found the time. Enter 2 teenagers. Home from school for the summer. Both driving and both helping out with cooking and general errands. Then why is it getting harder to find the time?
Is it because the kids are only home for 9 more weeks before heading back to school and I want to spend time with them?
Is it because we have 4 drivers and not 4 cars so I have to (gasp) share?
Is it because it is summer and I don't like getting sweaty?
Is it because I am just plain lazy and I would rather stay at home and have a snack.

Maybe it is a little of all of those things. I like it when Leah and I go together even though we don't always actually work out together. I feel good when I go. I think it is time to stop thinking and start doing.
Isn't there a saying that it is not easy being beautiful. Well if that included exercising and eating right, they were right.

-20 pounds since starting
+151 days

48 days to 21st birthday and 214 to Leah's birthday - Graduation Complete