Resting my Body

The body is a funny thing (if you are looking at mine, it is a very funny thing).
I work out and the scale stays the same, but when I take a day off from the gym and weigh myself the following day my weight goes down.
Listen up. I am not saying that if I don't work out for a week it will automatically go down, but this has happened several times in the last month.
So what's up? Some of the articles I have read about weight loss have said something about building muscle and losing fat when you sleep. I am definitely on board if that is the case. Something about exercise and your body continuing to burn fat as you rest/sleep. So maybe taking a day off from my workout allows my body to burn more fat. Anybody out there hear of this phenomenon?

+28 day    
- 9 weight

Hitting the wall

I think I am hitting the wall when it comes to eating right. It is so easy to not think about my food choices and portion control. I haven't completely slipped. Snacking and munching is not the problem but lunch and dinner choices. Maybe it is laziness. If it is prepared for me it is much easier but the lack of planning and shopping has been a downfall. It probably would only take 30 minutes of planning and an hour (at most) of shopping and of course the prepping time. I need some inspiration and some mental energy to just do it.
The silver lining is that I am still enjoying working out. I worked out a few days by myself (just me and my tunes) but yesterday my friend joined me and the time flew by. That is so much more enjoyable. I need some more friends to join me on the treadmill. My knee has been a bit sore ( the weather is not helping) so I don't want to add to much exercise but I still want to go 4-5 times a week and when I feel up to it I will increase the workout times and distance.
So, how should I attack this lazy food problem I am having? I did well when Tom and I made homemade soup together. I cut and chopped and he sauteed. It was easy, yummy and we knew exactly what went in it.
Hmmmm. What do you think? Ideas people I need ideas.



+26 day    
- 7 weight

.75 Miles vs. 1.5 Miles in 15 minutes

When I was on the treadmill last night I was reminiscing about my first time on the treadmill. It was 13 days ago. Not 130 days, not 13 weeks but 13 days.
That first day I hopped on and walked my little heart out. I did not want to push to hard the first week (no pulled muscles or heart attacks) so I walked at a good pace but not super fast. I walked at 3 - 3.4 mph. that first day. I walked .75 miles and it took 15 minutes. It felt good. A brisk walk was a good way to start.
I remember this vividly because my oldest is in the Navy. Now, I love her to pieces and I say this with love. She is an intellectual. She is not my athletic child. She played sports and she is somewhat coordinated but she is busty and running has never been her thing. She tries and she works hard, but it is not easy for her. The Navy requires females (age 20) to run a mile and a half in 14 minutes and 30 seconds. I looked at the treadmill and saw 15 minutes(ish) and I only went half the distance she runs. Wow. I am not dissing what I accomplished I am merely reflecting.
A couple of days ago there was a guy in his 30's running on the treadmill. I mean running. Sweating like a...well I am not sure but something that sweats a lot. Sweating like a glass of ice water on a hot summer day. Yeah like that. I casually glanced at his numbers on the read out and he is going 6 mph. I kept thinking about how fast that was. I could do that for maybe three minutes. Hey, I said maybe. I put it together. I needed the visual of seeing how fast he was running to understand how fast she runs for 14 minutes and 30 seconds.
I have a new respect for her and the hard work she has put in. Grant it, she has been in the Navy for 2 years and therefore has much more exercise under her belt than my 13 days and she is half my age but still, very impressive. Good job baby girl I am proud of you.

+24 day    
- 7 weight

Having a Blast! What the Heck?

I have not exercised for years. YEARS! I play sports occasionally but not a long walk or a gym workout. A long, long time. I do know this about myself. If I play basketball, volleyball or softball with the kids I have fun and don't think of it as exercise because sports are competitive (which I love) but who knew that going to the gym would be fun?

Here's my top 10 for going to the gym. These are in no particular order.

1. Relationships - I catch up with my friend and exercise at the same time. When the teenagers come home from school this summer I will go with them as well
2. I listen to some excellent tunes on my i pod (always puts me in a good mood)
3. It gets me out of the house (and off the couch) and have some 'me' time
4. Sweating. Who knew it would feel so good
5. Increased energy
6. My emotions seem to be more in balance instead of huge ups and downs
7. To focus on nothing. When listening to music I just look out the window and zone out. My days are filled with 'stuff' and it is nice to let it all go. 
8. Increased energy, Seriously. I have been needing less sleep and feeling way better - I don't care if it is all in my head. Whatever it is it's working
9. Losing fat (nuff said)
10. Feeling good about myself. There is very little in life that any of us have control over but I can decide what goes into my body and how I treat my body (as the temple God created)

+21 day    

- 8 weight

I Was Recognized

No, I am not famous nor do I have 'groupies' but I was pointed out
(in a good way).
I was helping out at a mission fair today at one of the district LCMS churches and a friend of mine asked me how much weight I have lost. I looked at her blankly, not knowing what she was talking about.
I saw her when I was 40 pounds lighter and then again when I was 20 pounds lighter and in the last couple of months at my current weight. She then mentioned to her friend that I had started a 'blog' and it clicked. I told her I have lost 8 pounds and then the 3 of us spoke for a few minutes. She had a big smile on her face and it felt good.
I have no idea who reads this or not. I know three people are followers (which just means they get an email when I post-I think) and a couple people have told me they read it. But otherwise, no clue. I think it will be interesting to go back and read what I posted (maybe this summer or when I get discouraged) about how
s-l-o-w-l-y the weight is coming off (we all know that day will come).

+20 day    
- 8 weight

Afraid of a 12" white square?

What is it about this funny little piece of white plastic that has red light up numbers?
It was Thursday morning. I thought of not weighing myself until Sunday but decided against it. Twice a week is reasonable. It will only go up 1-2 pounds (at most) and may go down 1 pound. I have been making good choices for meals and snacks but worried about the 2 cups of rice I had, 1 cup of Frito's or the 1/2 bun I had with my burger. STOP IT! I have been walking past the cookies and candy. I have cut down on empty calories by watching my portion size. I know darn well that I use to have a handful of something every hour or so. The calories of those empty nutrition choices added up. Maybe I would stay the same. That is ok too.

Alright Mr. Scale I am ready. -1 pound. Oh Mr. Scale you are my friend. I like you bunches. I have to say I do love when the second number changes (when you go from 30 to 29) is soooo exciting. I don't know why, but it is the complete opposite of when you have a ZERO birthday. Somehow when you go from 29 to 30 years old you feel a big difference. A milestone. You are only 1 day older than the day before. But it feels like a huge difference. That's how I feel when the scales second number changes. It energizes me.

I think Mr. Scale needs a real name. Maybe that will help me embrace him or make me want to stand on him and crush him. What is a good name for a scale? Suggestions please. The winning name will be announced on Thursday, January 27, 2011.

 +19 day    
- 7weight

Sweating to Burlesque

I saw 'Burlesque' last month with a friend of mine and was skeptical. I thought it would be good or really bad.  I loved it. The story line was decent and moved at a good pace. The casting was ideal and the costumes, makeup, music and dance was absolutely wonderful. I am not a dancer. I am athletic but I can not get my body to move so that it looks like anything other than me having a seizure.
I found the movie soundtrack for $5.99 and quickly loaded it on my computer and i pod. I brought it with me to the gym. After my friend left to pick up her daughter, I asked the young man behind the counter if he could show me how to use the elliptical machine. I told him I have never tried it and know they have two different versions at this gym. He showed me the one he used. I asked which was easier and he said they were about the same but had slight variations. So I asked him which he would put his mother on (since he seemed the same age as my son) and he smiled and said the other one. He showed me how to use it and off I went.
I listened to 2 songs on the soundtrack and the upbeat music made it easy to keep the rhythm of this weird looking contraption. It felt like I was cross country skiing, slightly uphill. It was a good feeling. Easy on my aging body. I do feel a bit of a burn on my quads and tushie but not bad. I didn't want to overdue it and I plan on gradually lengthening my times.

+16 day    
-6 weight

2 week check up

Review of goals and how are we doing?
The goal's are: 75 pounds gone from my body-
30 pounds by Graduation- 20 pounds by 21st birthday - 75 by Leah's birthday
6 pounds gone and I am on my way - All right I have a confession to make. Part of my goal deadline is KellyAnn's 21st birthday but she and her husband are expecting our first grandchild a week after her birthday.

Eat healthy food
Doing well on this one. Portion size and quality nutricous choices. One cup of coffee in the morning, water throughout the day and a flavored (non calorie) water occasionally.

Exercise 3 times a week
5 is more like it. I wanted to go everyday (I am new at this and still excited) but told myself that taking a day off occsionally is good for my body (and my muscles thanked me).

Cut down on soda (one a day and none at a sit down restaurant)
Doing great on this one. Since I was sick it was easy to drink NONE and I just kept it up. I did see someone drinking a diet mountain dew in a resealable bottle and longed for one myself. But I walked away and didn't look back. Of course I didn't know the guy and taking a drink would not have been appropriate so walking away really was the only option.
+14 day    
-6 weight

Was
137 days to Graduation, 227 days to 21st birthday and 365 to Leah's birthday!
Now
123 days to Graduation, 213 days to 21st birthday and 351 to Leah's birthday!

OMGIAOS (oh my goodness I am outta shape)

My feet, my calves, my tushie, my arms. They are not super sore just "Hello. We are here. Did you forget about us for 20 years?" sore. My hips are another story. Not exactly my hips but the muscles under the hips on the side of my legs. They burn (in a good way).

I went to the gym yesterday and did our normal routine and as I finishing the cool down on the treadmill 2 ladies were walking over and trying to figure out which ones to use because there were not 2 together. I told them I was finishing up and they could use this one and said to them "my friend and I joined last week" (we aren't the newbies as they joined that morning) "and we use 2 machines next to each other also". They were grateful. The funniest part was that they were just like us. One was taller and it seemed she had been there before and was showing her shorter nervous friend what to do. I gave her a word of encouragement and went on to the next machine. When I finished up on the bike, they were finishing on the treadmills and I smiled at the newbie (the one who reminded me of me- I wasn't being rude to the other but she wasn't looking my way). She smiled back. A glad she was there but nervous smile. I hope to run into them again. They seemed nice.

Isn't it funny how after going three days in a row I am 'regular' and not a 'newbie'? My mind is so weird. Does anyone else think like this? If so, are you willing to tell me or is that just between you and your thoughts?

+13 day    
-6 weight

Why am I afraid?

Why is it that I have no problem taking care of my life when I am alone but when my family is around I tend to limit myself? Let me explain. For those who don't know Tom, he is a godly, caring, generous man, husband and father. My kids are great. But like many families we do our fair share of picking on and teasing each other. My weak spots are cooking, running and general housework (to name a few). Those are fair game when they are around. However, what I have recently realized is that I do many of those things (not the running) when I am by myself. Thursday nights Tom has commitments at church and what do I do, but go to the gym. I took Friday as vacation day and cleaned the linen closet, bathroom (including floor), reorganized my dresser, matched and tossed orphan socks, cleaned the kitchen, made myself eggs for breakfast, grocery shopped and went to the gym. I didn't even think about it I just did it.
I was trying to figure out when I was going to the gym this weekend and do some general housework. I wasn't sure when I would do that 'stuff'. Tom told me he was going into work on Saturday. Bingo! He left by 7am and since I was awake, I got up (bummer on a Saturday). I cleaned up the kitchen, went to the gym and made myself lunch. I made a hamburger (using the stove is not my specialty) and reheated some veggie soup we made last weekend. Normally I just wait until he comes up with a lunch idea and then he makes it. Yes, he does 90% of the cooking. Yes, I know I am spoiled (he also does the laundry and I fold).
So why don't I do these simple yet helpful things when other people are home? Am I afraid of being judged or laughed at? Probably. I know that is silly but that is how I feel so it isn't so silly. Is it?

+12 day    
-5 weight (I think twice a week would be wise -Thursday and Sunday)

The Gym Experience (da da daaaa)

I did it! I met my friend last night after work and we signed up to join the gym. It was 5pm and there were a ton of people there. I didn't like that. It was noisy, smelly, sweaty and crowded. I asked the nice lady (who was maybe, may-be 18) what the busiest times were and she said between 4-6pm. Easy enough. My friend said she would like to avoid those hours as well because she likes to go when it is quieter and less crowded.
So did we work out? Nope. Signed up, gave them our money and left. She said she would probably go back later that evening and if she did she would text me. Sure enough that is what she did.
When I walked in the nice girl who signed us up said "Good for you for coming back tonight". She didn't say it in a mean way, she said it sincerely. That felt good.  I may have another cheerleader. My friend was at the treadmill so I joined her there, used a weight machine for our arms (and the many muscles that are hiding there) and finished on the bike. 8:20-9pm Good job. We made plans for today and we did another 40 minutes. Good job. Having a work out buddy (ok someone to talk to) really does help pass the time. I will go this weekend by myself and bring my i pod.
I know that you want to know if anyone pointed or laughed. The answer would be "no". However I felt like an oaf when I was on the treadmill and this older
(like 70) guy walked on the treadmill then kicked it up to a fast run.
But you know what? That isn't my goal so I will say "you go old dude and I will just keep walking".

+11 day    
-5 weight (I think twice a week would be wise -Thursday and Sunday)

Why am I afraid?

So this morning was weigh in day. I am nervous. I went out to dinner once, had a bun with my burger and some (about 20-not many) fries, had a small baked potato with dinner. Grant it. This was over 4 days but still. Stinkin thinkin...I have not had soda, candy, cookies, ice cream, cake and all those other good things. I have had smaller portions and less sugar and carbs. Why is it that I have to tell myself these positive things? Why don't they just pop up like the negative ones do? I don't mind being a cheerleader but I am hoping that I can re-program my brain to think of the good I do and not think about the times I fall short or fail.
Up one pound but overall still good.
Joining a gym this afternoon. Egads. Will people stare at me when I come in or point and laugh when I ride a bike (even though it does not go anywhere)? I am pretty sure they won't but I still have a niggling fear. Well, I am going with a friend and if they do point and stare I will tell myself that they are laughing at her and not me. I am so evil.

+10 day    
-5 weight (I think twice a week would be wise -Thursday and Sunday)

Restaurant Trip - Failure or Success?

Tuesday night was my first restaurant experience since beginning my journey. I thought I was ready. I did my research. I was prepared or so I thought.
While waiting for our table the bartender took our drink order. Ice water please (good job). We were seated at our table and I looked over the menu. It was only 2 pages with large type. It was not overwhelming but you would have thought I was reading French (which I don't). I read the stupid thing at least five times. One third of it was appetizers so I can rule those out. OK two thirds to go. I can do this.
Fish looks good but once I figured out which fish I wanted they had three different ways to fix it. To hard. OK move on to burgers. I can eat it with a fork and knife, only have half the bun and no ketchup or mayo. Oh that doesn't come with the soup and that sounded really good. Finally, finally, finally I figured something out. I ordered the special. Grilled chicken breast with linguine and a light chicken broth sauce. I know, I know. Pasta. I am not cutting out carbs completely, I am just being aware of them and trying to cut down on them. The waitress brings the roll basket to us and I pass it. They smell so good. It comes back around to me and I place it aside (good job). Surprise surprise I didn't really miss it. Our meals come and I am quite happy. The portion size was perfect. They called it the senior portion (I am 41 and almost offended) but who cares. I don't care if they call it a kids meal. It was the right size. Small chicken breast. A small cereal bowl size serving of linguine and one cup of chicken broth (good job). I took my time. I enjoyed my meal. I had a very nice time. Hmmm. Maybe I am growing up.
So what do you think? Was it a failure or success?

+9 day    
-6 weight (I think twice a week would be wise -Thursday and Sunday)

Portion Size and Water

I have been making an effort to eat slower and take smaller portions. Tom and I made vegetable soup on Sunday (I cut and he sauteed) and I used zucchini, onions, garlic, celery, carrots, red pepper, 1 package of cocktail wieners (should have used polska kielbasa) 1 can of diced tomatoes and chicken broth. I had 1/2 a bowl and an hour later had another 1/2 bowl. It was warm, yummy, nutritious and I felt satisfied.

We are going out to dinner tonight with 2 other couples so I went to the restaurants website to see the menu before we get there. They have grilled fish and veggie options, which I love, and a few red meat items but I want to skip the potato (they do have coleslaw which would be a good choice). I may end up with a french onion soup and a side salad. I really like looking at the menu ahead of time so that I am not surprised when I get there or rely on my cravings at the moment.

The other big  news is...it is time to start working out. Tom has a church meeting on Thursday evenings so I am going to stop by the gym on my way home, sign up, and start that very evening. I already packed my gym bag. I am such a dork. Yes it is ok to agree with me.

+8 day    
-6 weight (I think twice a week would be wise -Thursday and Sunday)

Sweets Table - Why do you Taunt me?

Why is it that everyone and his brother brings sweets to the office after Christmas? Chocolate, candy, homemade candies and cookies, boxed chocolate and left over donuts from the staff meeting. I am still fighting this cold so the temptation has been a bit easier but I still successfully walked past the food trough with all the goodies all week. Normally I would have had a donut at staff meeting and a piece of candy every time I walked by the food trough at work and never thought twice about it. But you know what. I like making a conscious effort on what I eat and drink. Do I still want these yummy things? Heck yeah! But in a few minutes I don't miss it at all. It will take some time to not eat out of habit and instead eat what I am planning, what will give me energy and something good for me. But hey that's what a habit is.

+5 day    
-3 weight (I think twice a week would be wise -Thursday and Sunday)

Long Weigh to Go

Today is weigh in day. While I am excited because I know I must have lost something I am a bit apprehensive because I am sick and not eating a lot. I have not had soda since Sunday and I think the lack of sodium and artificial sweetener must be good for me. So my negative Nelly inside me doesn't want to get on the scale because I may have lost a few pounds. You would think that would make me happy but I keep thinking about what Sunday will bring. What if I am down 2-3 pounds now but go up 1 on Sunday? What if, what if, what if. Wait a minute. I am in control of my thoughts and if I lose a couple of pounds then good for me. I will try to keep it off but if I put on a pound then I will worry about it then.

+3 day    
-3 weight (I think twice a week would be wise -Thursday and Sunday)

Sticking Thinking

Tuesday morning brought continued sickness. More of the sore throat and tired thing. I slept, watched a movie and slept some more. I did have breakfast and water and lunch and water and more water. I know my body needs water when I am sick but it's so BORING. I do have to say that it is hard to tell if I have a fever or if I am hot flashing. I will have to figure out how to tell the difference.
I was tempted to think about being sick in a negative way, to say things like "I am finally ready to work out and now I am sick, how can I prove to myself how strong I am by not drinking more than one soda a day if I am sick and not having any, or I have self control because I passed by the sweets today". Well I made a concious decision to turn that frown upside down. Today was my second day with no soda, no sweets and reasonable portion size. Did I want those things? Yes. Did I choose not to have them. Yes. Is that a good habit developing? Yes. Does it feel like I am cheating. Yeah sort of but I think it is healthier for me to think of my body doing a natural detox and when I am feeling better to continue with what I have started.

+2 day    
-? weight (I think twice a week would be wise so we will see what Thursday brings)

The first day of the rest of my life.

I woke up with a sore throat. Did that stop me from starting my plan. Nope. I put one foot in front of the other and reviewed my goals. I had a blueberry bagel, 2 glasses of water and cleaned the kitchen. By 10am I wanted a diet coke. mmmmm did I mentioned I wanted a diet coke. It tasted so good in my head. For lunch I had leftover chicken fajita on one flour tortilla and a glass of water. I did not want to run errands but I figured if I just did it, I could come home and rest. I went to the gym and took a tour. I am looking for simple-just get moving- (treadmill, exercise bike, eliptical machine and a locker room). I am not thrilled about spending $19.95 a month, however I could use the cash I am not using on soda and still have some left over. I had no problem spending $1 for a 32oz at McD's because it is 32oz for pete's sake. I plan on signing up at the end of the week when I am feeling better. On to Aldi's. Fresh veggies, some nuts and dried fruit to make trail mix for a work snack. (I put it in one cup portions so I don't over do it.)
Hmmm a plan. It feels good.
By the way I did not have the diet coke today.

+1 day    
-? weight (I think twice a week would be wise so we will see what Thursday brings)

A little about me

I wanted to give a little background information about myself. In 2004 (age 34) I had a bit of a health scare and decided it was time to lose some weight. I also took a vacation with my family and I was the one taking pictures and not participating. I did not want my kids to be embarressed by my weight. They are embaressed by me all the time but that is a different story.
 I started out at 250 (size 24) and went down to 180 (size 14) in a year. Low carb eating agreed with me and it was fairly easy to lose. In 2005 I had 6 breast surgeries (the last 2 was the removal and reconstruction) and was diagnosed with Chronic Infection. No Cancer but it was/is emotional for me. I started a new job in January 2006 and being in my new skin was emotionally hard for me. Gaining a few pounds here and there was easy and I liked hiding behind the bigger me. I wanted people to like me for me and not what I looked like. I know it sounds crazy but it was a huge battle within me. I had discussions in my head that went something like 'he is checking out your legs and they look good. I like that. Why am I an object and not a person'. These back and forth thoughts in my head was exhausting so it was easier to gain a few pounds.

The journey begins

I have always struggled with weight. To be frank it is an emotional thing. I do not do well (emotionally) when I am thin. I know this about myself and I deceided to be an grown up and address this issue. I thought this was a good time to do something for me. To be emotional and physically healthy. Joshua (my middle child) graduates from high school on May 20, 2011, KellyAnn (my oldest) turns 21 on August 18, 2011 and Leah's birthday (1995) is January 3 so we will begin and end then.
Join me on my journey.

137 days to Graduation, 227 days to 21st birthday and 365 to Leah's birthday!
The goal's are:
75 pounds gone from my body- 30 pounds by Graduation- 20 pounds by 21st birthday - 75 by Leah's birthday
eat healthy food
exercise 3 times a week
cut down on soda (one a day and none at a sit down restaurant)